Developing your character!

 

I firmly believe that the world does not like the church because they have heard us preach one thing but live another. Solomon says something profound.

 

Prov. 28:6 Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he is rich.

 

This is not a session in pointing fingers. Jesus was the only perfect human being and had no character flaws. Apart from him, we all qualify for a checkup. Unfortunately, some of scripture's most remarkable men and women had character flaws. Abraham, the father of faith, lied about his wife and gave her to another man to save himself. So did his son Isaac. David was not only a murderer and an adulterer but a peeping Tom. What about Peter, lying about being a disciple three times and denying he was with Jesus? What about Judas selling Jesus for thirty pieces of silver? James and John thought they were more important than anyone else. 

 

Gehazi, trained to be the next prophet after Elisha, ran after a reward for Elisha healing Naaman he had nothing to do with. Miriam and Aaron question Moses' authority. Solomon, the wisest man, worshipped false idols. Jezebel murdered Naboth so her husband could have a vineyard. 

 

Samson slept around. Paul murdered believers. The list goes on. Today we read the news of huge ministries where leaders engage in sexual abuse, questionable money matters, and enrichment schemes. You wonder how they kept it silent for so long. People leave the church because leaders fail to walk with integrity and godly character. 

 

Three things that will reveal bad character the fastest are:

  1. Power/Authority.

  2. Offense

  3. Trails.

Paul admonishes the church never to put a novice in a place of authority - 1 Tim 3:6. Such a person does not have the character to handle the pressure and ends up getting prideful, a bad character trait. Authority is earned through hard work and being tested and found faithful through facing hard decisions and leading well under pressure. We know the enemy tried to offer Jesus a shortcut - Matt 4:8. "You can have all this if you just worship me." There is no shortcut to authority. A shortcut doesn't develop your character.

 

Next, offend someone, and you will see their character. Offense is the most common way to see what is in someone. We all failed this one more than one time. Instead, we brush it off with an excuse: "that was so out of character for me." The truth will offend your mind and reveal what is in your heart. 

 

Lastly, trials and difficulties will also reveal your character. Paul writes:

 

Rom. 5:3-4 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces patience; and patience, character; and character, hope.

 

James the Apostle agrees with Paul. He writes:

 

James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

 

How do we discern what our character is like? The dictionary defines character as your core values and the motivation for why you do things the way you do them. Do your actions line up with your core values? Society and culture are challenging our core values daily. Do we give in, or do we make a stand?

 

John Wooden said: The true test of character is what you do when you are alone, and no one is watching you.

 

Here is a list of Godly Character Traits.

  1. Integrity - Prov 11:3, 1 Pet 3:16.

  2. Loyalty - Psalm 78:8, John 15:13.

  3. Honesty - Gen 30:33, Col 3:9.

  4. Dependability - 1 Cor 16:13, Luke 16:10.

  5. Diligence - Rom 12:8, Prov 13:4.

  6. Courage - Duet 31:6, Josh 1:6,9.

  7. Respect - Matt 7:12, Phill 2:3.

  8. Fruit of the Spirit - Gal 5:22-23. (These are character traits of the Spirit and should be the same for believers.)

 

How do we develop our character?

  1. Know your identity.

  2. Know your core values/principles.

  3. Practice self-discipline.

  4. Be accountable to yourself and others.

  5. Use setbacks to learn and change.

  6. Take responsibility for your actions and decisions.

  7. Know your boundaries (how big is your "no")

  8. Respect other people's boundaries.

  9. Be self-aware of your weaknesses.

  10. Learn to distinguish between needs and wants.

https://www.kentingle.com/leadership/6-ways-to-develop-your-character/

I hope this has helped you feel challenged and motivated never to give up. Failure is only absolute when you stop trying. 

 

Here are some great questions to ask yourself. Take time, be honest with yourself, and answer them.

  1. What character traits are most important to me?

  2. When do I most struggle to make the right decision?

  3. What character traits can I work on, and how do I plan to do that?