Change:
We all hate it; we all need it.
3 John 2 Beloved, I wish above all things that you prosper and be in good health even as your soul prospers.
What a powerful verse. John wishes that we are as healthy and as prosperous as our soul(will, intellect, emotions) are. Our daily decisions directly impact the health and quality of our lives. If I choose to eat unhealthy, never exercise and get addicted to things, my quality of life will be poor. The great news is that it can all change with a choice. The amount of effort it takes to make a wrong choice is the same amount of effort it takes to make a great choice. The question remains: do I want to change?
Most people are stuck because they fear change. This is because they might feel unprepared, scared of the outcome(even a good one), or even think they are not qualified. Most people are just too afraid to try because they have failed in the past. The best time to start is now.
Before you make any significant changes in your life, start with a few small ones that can impact your life drastically. Most of these changes are common sense. They are easy to accomplish if you set your mind and heart to it.
A. Exchange toxic friends for mentors.
Friendships work best if there is an equal commitment to what you give and what you take from it. Friends that always take but never add or give the same in return are not great friendships. Toxic friendships never challenge you or commit to helping you grow in life. Mentors are people that can speak from experience. Most of the time, it is people that are older and that can help you avoid the pitfalls in life. They are not scared to call you out and call you higher. They have insight into situations that you might still lack. People who always agree with you because they are scared to offend or challenge you are not mentors. Mentors create a safe place to share and be vulnerable without judging you. They see your potential and will keep pushing you to become your best self.
B. Exchange comparison with self-acceptance.
So many young people live their lives by comparing themselves to others. The curse of our day is that the media idolize these superstars and create the false perception that followers on TikTok or Instagram make you somebody. Young people will commit crimes and record them to get views on a social platform. They feel that gives them value. They build their identity around "likes" on their pictures and posts. At the end of the day, they still go to bed empty and look for the next great fix.
You are the best you that ever lived. You don't need "things" to give you value. God gave you your value when He created you. You are the best expression of God, just the way you are. No one else is who you are. BE yourself.
C. Exchange complaining for gratitude.
We complain so quickly. In our travels around the world, we have been to places where people have almost nothing and are so happy. They live in a shack with no cellphones, television, running water, or fancy cars, but they have a family. They laugh and enjoy life and what it gives them. We can access everything our hearts desire in America but are entitled, selfish, and self-centered. When we can't have our way, we threaten to sue and make a big scene. What will change when you focus on being grateful for what you have? What about taking the first hour of your day and just being thankful for all your blessings?
Lam. 3:22-23 Through the LORD'S mercies, we are not consumed
because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
D. Exchange blaming others by taking responsibility.
I don't believe that it is my fault! Just like Adam, we all do the same thing. "It was not me, Lord. It is this woman you gave me." You will feel most empowered to change anything by taking responsibility for it. If you wait for others to do it, you might wait your whole life. If you get real honest with yourself, most of what needs to change is because of your life choices. To keep on blaming others is to stay in a victim mindset. That will only lead to feeling powerless and shameful. You can make that change today and set yourself on a course of success.
E. Exchange overthinking(worry) for action.
Worry is like a rocking chair. It will keep you busy but take you nowhere. We all worry too much. Most of what we worry about never happens to us. Worry drains your energy and time, and the reality is that anxiety has never changed anything. Taking action is what gives you a different outcome.
Phil. 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
F. Exchange things that influence you for something that inspires you.
Anything in life can influence you, your thinking, and your actions. What is better is if you find the things that inspire you. What makes you get up in the morning? What makes your heart jump with excitement? So many things can influence you, good or bad, but nothing makes you come alive, like when you find inspiration. Someone with inspiration and passion tends to be more focused and less distracted when they face opposition. Hardship doesn't make them quit. Lack of resources doesn't make them stop. Their passion and inspiration influence others to improve and improve the world. Think about Mother Teressa, Steve Jobs, and Michael Angelo. If you talk with most artists, they will tell you they succeeded because of their passion and what inspires them. Most successful people can tell you what their passion is.
G. Exchange gossip for communication.
We all like to gossip. It is easy and judgmental. It makes people feel better about themselves. It doesn't take much brainpower to do. It tends to make you look like an expert. It is also the lowest form of communication. Honest communication takes effort and time. It involves listening to people, setting aside your prejudice, and asking the right questions. It is to value where people are and where they come from and understand that their opinion matters as much as yours. It is the ability to change the room's atmosphere and speak the truth in love so that they will receive it. In an age where most communication happens through email and texts, what an excellent opportunity to step up to the plate and have some great conversations with someone today.
Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
H. Exchange feelings of failure for feelings of learning.
We all hate failing at something. In life, you will fail many times. Failing is not a life sentence; it is a life lesson. It is impossible to live without failure. What you do when you fail determines how big your comeback is. Scripture says that a righteous man might fail seven times but will rise again.
Prov. 24:16 For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again.
You get more than seven chances. In the bible, seven represents the number of perfection. Solomon was trying to tell us that even if you perfect failure or feel like you are in a place where you don't think you can succeed or try again, you can still rise and get a do-over. After a failure, it is more important to walk away and learn the lesson than see it as a failure. You learned a valuable lesson, grew, and now you better understand what not to do next time. James tells us to be joyful when facing things that can be a potential failure.
James 1:2-3 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
I. Exchange comfort for challenges.
Don't shake the boat. We love our comfort. We pick friends that we like that are like-minded and love the same stuff we like. The first place we can challenge ourselves is to talk with someone who thinks and sees things differently than we see or feel. My whole life, I always befriend people that are different than me. My wife says: " you have the weirdest friends." To them, I look weird, so we are getting along well. The reason is that very little growth happens in a place of comfort. I even like to listen to friends who are theologically thinking differently. Their thinking helps me to discover the truth I believe. Truth does not need to be defended. It speaks for itself. Only two things can happen when your truth is challenged. You know why it is your truth, or you see the need to change. Finds ways to challenge yourself.
J. Exchange quitting for resolve.
Quitters never win, and winners never quit. We all know that to be true. How long can you keep going? We give up to soon. The problem with quitting is that it creates patterns in your life that spill over into other areas like your relationships, job, marriages, friendships, and many more. We made a generation with no resolve because when things became challenging, as parents, we stepped in and stopped the pain from life to teach them to push through life's complicated issues. We meant well, but we did them a great disservice. What about our resolve? We have gotten so good at quitting that we can make it looks like a compromise.
Hebrews eleven are full of names of people that did not quit. I plan to add my name to that list!
K. Exchange distraction for focus.
The enemy is a master at distracting us. He usually doesn't use a temptation to distract us because it is too apparent. He does it with doubt and worry. Worry is a negative focus on the wrong thing. We must learn to stay focused. Jesus was the most focused person ever to live. He was focused on what the Father said and what the Father did. His mission and his call were what kept him on track. He never allowed the mundane or the need of people to distract him. He always did what was necessary to fulfill his call.
What things distract you? Most of the time, it is small things. What you prioritize in life will have your attention. What has your attention is what you will invest in. What you invest in will produce fruit in your life. What produces fruit in your life will determine the decisions you make. Your choices will show what your focus is.
L. Exchange time on the phone with time in the Word.
We spend too much time on the phone. A great way to get better at not doing that is to switch your phone off an hour before you go to bed and not pick it up for an hour after you wake up. What will you do with that time? Take time to read the Word. Close your day with scripture and start your day with scripture. Doing that will revolutionize your life.
Psa. 1:1-3 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bring forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper.
Most of these suggestions are common sense. Try it and see how much your life can change.